Parents Can’t Wait for AI Research to Catch Up with AI Innovation. They Deserve Guidance Now.

Dr. Dana Suskind is Professor of Surgery and Pediatrics at University of Chicago, Founding Director of the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Program, and Founder and Co-Director of the TMW Center for Early Learning + Public Health at the University of Chicago. Her book, “Human Raised: Nurturing Lifelong Learning, Curiosity, and Connection,” was released July 14.

For the first time in human history, there’s technology capable of mimicking the human interactions that wire a child’s brain for language, literacy, and lifelong learning. AI can read bedtime stories, carry on conversations, answer endless questions — so many of the roles that used to require a loving, present grown-up.

As a pediatric surgeon and childhood brain development expert, here’s what keeps me up at night: What happens to a child’s developing brain — to their capacity for attachment, for empathy, for human relationships — when the entity responding to them, attuning to them, is a machine instead of a parent? 

The truth is, we don’t fully know.

AI is moving into homes, schools, and bedtime routines faster than researchers can study. Which means parents are left making short-term decisions with lifelong consequences, often with little guidance.

I’ve spent decades thinking about how environments shape children’s development. My work focuses specifically on early language and brain development, including how the interactions children experience in the first years of life profoundly shape their futures. The early years matter not simply because they’re when children are learning words. They matter because they’re when children learn how to connect, regulate their emotions, build trust, tolerate frustration, and make meaning through relationships.

Which is why the arrival of AI into the intimate spaces of childhood deserves our careful attention. And parents deserve more than panic or blind optimism. In my new book, Human Raised: Nurturing Connection, Curiosity, and Lifelong Learning in the Age of AI, I offer practical frameworks grounded in developmental science to help parents guide their decisions around AI.

Because the truth is, all AI isn’t created equal. Some tools can strengthen human connection and lighten parental loads. Others step into a role that should be filled by a human — storyteller, comforting presence, conversation partner — and give parents one more thing to monitor and manage.

One framework I’ve established spells, and offers, HOPE.

H: Human connection is irreplaceable.

O: Own the imperfections.

P: Protect the early years.

E: Enhance, don’t replace, adult-child interactions.

This framework is built around a simple idea: In an age where AI can increasingly mimic human abilities, the goal of parenting isn’t to teach children how to compete with machines. It’s to strengthen the deeply human capacities that allow children to flourish.

That means protecting time for conversation and preserving time for boredom and imagination. It means helping children develop focus in a fast-paced world. It means teaching critical thinking at a moment when information (and misinformation) can be generated instantly. And it means remembering that children’s development is shaped not only by what technologies they use, but by what technologies replace.

We’re used to talking about AI replacing jobs. It is harder—and far more uncomfortable—to consider the possibility of AI replacing human caregiving itself. And yet much of the AI marketed to parents and children moves us in that direction.

Apps promise to soothe children, tutor them, entertain them, comfort them, read to them. The messaging is subtle but powerful: Your child can receive what they need more efficiently from a machine.

But parents and caregivers are not bundles of services to be optimized, and children don’t need perfectly calibrated childhoods. They need presence. They need imperfect humans who show up consistently. They need adults who model emotional regulation, repair after conflict, curiosity, compassion, and critical thinking.

Children learn empathy by experiencing empathy. They learn communication through reciprocal interaction. They learn resilience by navigating disappointment, boredom, conflict, and unpredictability alongside caring adults. Those experiences aren’t bugs in childhood. They’re the foundation of healthy development.

But modern parenting culture pushes families toward optimization at all costs. Parents are overwhelmed, isolated, exhausted, and often unsupported. In that environment, technologies promising relief can feel irresistible. And to be clear, many families genuinely need support.

But we’re navigating this tech revolution without the benefit of historical perspective. We don’t yet have decades of longitudinal studies telling us what happens when children regularly turn to AI companions for comfort, homework help, emotional support, or conversation. We don’t know how it may shape attention, motivation, empathy, or resilience over time.

We’ve seen this dynamic before, of course. Social media entered children’s lives long before researchers fully understood its psychological effects. Smartphones reshaped adolescence before schools or families had frameworks for how to manage them. In each case, technology advanced first; society scrambled afterward.

The difference now is that AI is not simply another screen. AI can simulate relationships. It can flatter, reassure, advise, converse, teach, and adapt itself to users in increasingly human-like ways. Children are especially vulnerable to this because their brains are wired for connection. They naturally anthropomorphize the world around them. A stuffed animal becomes a friend. A toy becomes a companion. Even adults routinely say “thank you” to Alexa or feel guilty shutting down a chatbot.

And AI companions don’t get tired of your child’s questions. They’re endlessly affirming, endlessly available, endlessly tailored to a child’s preferences. That may sound appealing in an exhausted parenting culture. But we should ask what children lose if too much of their emotional world becomes optimized for convenience.

Especially during early childhood, when the vast majority of brain development takes place, children do not simply need to be occupied. They need to be known. They need responsive human interaction. They need eye contact, turn-taking, shared attention, emotional attunement, and the kind of messy back-and-forth that builds resilience and empathy. In short, they need you.

We’re still early in this story. There is enormous opportunity ahead. AI may ultimately become a profoundly useful tool for families and educators. But tools shape us in return. The question is whether we will approach this moment passively or intentionally.

This moment in time, and how we respond to it, does keep me up at night. But I’ve been at this work for a while. Which is if why I can confidently say: My money is on parents.

AI guides its actions based on population-level patterns. Parents ground their decisions in what’s best for their child. AI draws on statistical probabilities. Parents draw on the keen understanding of their child’s world, their child’s individual temperament, their family’s values, their child’s developmental journey.

The Parental GPS is incredibly powerful, and you know more about your child than any algorithm. And most important of all? You care. No machine can compete with, or replace, that.

Dr. Dana Suskind is Professor of Surgery and Pediatrics at University of Chicago, Founding Director of the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Program, and Founder and Co-Director of the TMW Center for Early Learning + Public Health at the University of Chicago. Her forthcoming book, “Human Raised: Nurturing Lifelong Learning, Curiosity, and Connection,” (Penguin) was released July 14.

Dr. Suskind is a recognized thought leader on the national stage and celebrated author of “Thirty Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain” and “Parent Nation: Unlocking Every Child’s Potential, Fulfilling Society’s Promise” in addition to “Human Raised.” Her work has been featured in prominent media outlets including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, NPR, and The Economist.

Through her unique lens as both a surgeon who harnesses technology to restore hearing and a researcher who champions human connection, Dr. Suskind continues to shape how we understand the delicate balance between technological innovation and nurturing child development.